THE LIES CALLED LOVE

The lies called love, if any of it were true why would you so wrongfully fall in love with someone who didn't love you back, leaving you with a heavy heart and weak eyes, why do people stay up crying for one who doesn't even think of their very existence?
Pardon me but this fact I must state clearly there is but only one great love in the entire existence of man and that is the love of God, after that no other to the end of the world and back no other and the only other that comes closest to this is self love.
I never loved love, I always wanted to experience it but I never loved it, I hated what it portrayed so I shut it out, I never got close to people who had the ability to stir it and to those who I allowed in un-knownily I was quick to kill, I gathered flaws upon flaws needless flaws should I state' suddenly it was either the way they smiled or the away they walked, something just automatically became wrong with them and each time I saw them I saw the errors I had created.
A great Chinese wall I had built strong and mighty, the very definition of achievement, yes I was proud of what I had made of my soul, I shared laughter and simple intact I was the mistress of smiles but that was just about it, my soul never went beyond its boundaries, now I wonder if for once it felt like Rapunzel locked up in a tower waiting for a highness to let her down but of course I knew with this great achievement came its grief
I easily slipped into depression, I easily got sad, sand much worse quick to anger, I had people around me but never for once spoke to them constantly I would look in the mirror and see the deserted soul I had become, life was eating at me and I just let it, trying daily to prove myself right I shut more people out, was it family or friends, I shut all out I needed none of them I was doing just fine, my burdens may have been great but I was determined to carry it all alone.
The thing about life is this; one needs education in all aspect to avoid the evil birth from good and this thing was the one thing that I never understood, came the fateful day when I met this one guy and the regret filled my soul ever since.