PILLS TO HEALS

Spare me a minute of your time

I have suffered depression, not once not twice not thrice but a multiple times have I been a slave to this ILL natured thing called depression, the thing about depression is its strong enslaving grip; it doesn't let a man go at least not easily.
While I suffered depression the past few years I endangered my life doing things I should never have done I felt a huge vacuum in my world and nothing filled it right so I stuffed it with all the wrong things seeking comfort from each of them as they left me addicted to their misery while they stayed ruining the little that was left of me.

I cried miserably day in day out though I was hurt by no one, I was never going to be perfect, I was never going to be good enough why then do I try? I please the best of the world but my gestures fall on deaf ears, why then do I try
Truth is I had contemplated that thing called suicide, I had been mentally abused and needed to get out of the torture one way or the other, so I had thought hard about a way to make it work, by strings, needles, or pills? I needed to end it and I was going to. The day came when everyone had gone on their daily biz, left alone I was ready for it, I wasn't scared of the hurt that came with it I couldn't hurt myself more than I already had.

Depression is not a joke, its an unconscious state of negativity towards oneself, it generates a lust for abuse and pain to oneself, it shatters a whole soul and leaves happiness dampened, it literally took the grace of God to deliver me from myself, from demons created by me as a result of the communication with others and I am certain that there are lots of people who feel the need to end their lives, who feel empty to hope, dejected and lost maybe due to the financial, mental, or spiritual circumstances they face, but whatever the case may be that has left you in such state understand this your life is a testimony of grace.
Trials must come, challenges must strike but you are strong enough, don't let go of those hands that hold you, drop those pills, loosen those ropes and think about all the beautiful people that would want you around, also know there are millions of people in your state right now and you owe it to them to be strong enough so they too can stand off your strength.
God loves you, I do too...suicide is not an option and depression is not a master. #pillstoheals

Thanks to everyone who bothers to read my write up, you guys make me better!